Archive | June, 2013

Vinegar Strokes Press Release

26 Jun

Context: The following email was sent by my friend Tim, a fellow member of the YHF Fantasy Football League, on behalf of his team Vinegar Strokes (co-owned with Elli). 

[FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE]

Attention Fellow Owners,

After much deliberation the Vinegar Strokes have decided to part ways with our dynamic but deeply troubled TE Aaron Hernandez. While the Vinegar Strokes organization believes everybody is entitled to their innocence until proven guilty, we do not feel that Mr. Hernandez embodies the character, Klass or proud tradition of the Vinegar Strokes.

This decision is independent of any anticipated action taken by the Commissioner; be it a fine, suspension or removal from the Strokes’ roster and subsequent waiver claim of said player (theoretically speaking, not insinuating the Commissioner would ever use her power to do such a thing).

To be clear, the Strokes do not condone this type of behavior. We hold our players to a higher standard and expect them to use better judgment – primarily in the form of more discretion when destroying evidence and the expectation they hide the body better than in a ditch near their home. We wish Mr. Hernandez the best of luck; and by luck we mean retention of Ray Lewis’ attorney and a friend willing to take the fall.

– VS

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